Don’t go chasing (ice cream) waterfalls

Captain’s Log #005

Clara Zoellner
4 min readMay 11, 2022
Crime Scene of the melting ice cream story, outlined later on

Today has been a weird day. Not awful in itself, not fantastic enough to proclaim, just kind of in the middle, out there somewhere.

I was unsure of the tasks I should complete today, all mundane chores already done and my new projects not planned out yet. But it was also not a dedicated day off. So I spent the day, as most days, wavering between the need to relax and the need to act, hiding behind fake productivity and hiding from an existential crisis of what I should do with myself in a grand scheme of things.

Still I’d like to celebrate the little successes, and writing down things I’ve done would visually show me “look you’ve done more than you think!” so let’s acknowledge today’s experiences.

I practiced Yoga with a new teacher today. I am still unsure of her style and if I like her vibe. I grew frustrated in the beginning of class when she told us to go within ourselves to set an intention for today’s practice but then just continued to talk and ramble not giving the space to actually go inward and find this intention. A ridiculous reason, but as I was saying — weird day!

I also finally completed my latest crochet project, which I’ve been procrastinating after encountering a roadblock in my design. But I finally resolved the issue and the end result looks fantastic. I’m really happy with it, but try not to think about it too long because if I do then I will definitely spot some flaws (…like that the neck strap miiiight be too tight and thick — agh I’ve done it, I started overthinking it). I will wear it on Saturday for the Eurovision final aka the only planned night out this week. A risky move to trial its sturdiness, as we might risk naked boobs in public — but hey ho, no risk, no fun.

Freshly finished crochet top

The thing that stood out the most about today was my little walk to the local ice cream shop, Notarianni. For over 90 years they’ve only sold one ice cream flavour — vanilla — which pairs beautifully with the Biscoff toppings they offer. And whilst my soul was happy about the sunny weather, my ice cream wasn’t and I was quickly locked into a battle against time, elements and nature. The sun melting the ice cream at a rapid rate, the wind blowing my hair into my mouth, offering me a delicious mix of vanilla strands, additionally to spreading the melting ice cream across the pavement and, of course, my freshly washed clothes. It was going great, thanks for asking! To top it all off, sea gulls started to hover dangerously close over my head.

In the midst of all this chaos, I was approached by the goodest of boys, a lovely Rottweiler, who feigned interest in my persona to gain closer access to the aforementioned, now-running-in-waterfalls, record-melting ice cream.

The good boy’s companion was equally lovely and we engaged in randomly intimate chatter revealing our past to each other: He was involved in a work accident which paid him 70k and now he is running a gardening business. Welcoming a little girl to the world leaves him wondering if he will now be stuck in Blackpool, his hometown, forever. It is interesting what people choose to ask you when they first meet you and what they decide to tell you in return. In the past months, I had many first conversations due to my on-going relocating and the level of honesty or intimacy of some people surprise me again and again. But I welcome and reciprocate whole-heartedly, what’s there to hide?

Growing increasingly restless about my ice cream literally moving its entire being from the cone into the cup of my hand, and then onto the growing puddle on the floor, I brought the conversation to an end and fled to a bin. Giving up on my ice cream after the sea gull shadows reappear, I wash my hands in a puddle at the beach — probably not making them cleaner, just less sticky.

I’m laughing at this point. I always find amusement in little misfortunes like this, here I was with this intention of turning the day around and taking myself on a cute date to the beach. Which in turn became a little story of a chaos, as I’m juggling this waterfall of ice cream, a lovely conversation and a panting dog at the same time.

As I’m walking home, defeated and delighted, I regret not talking longer with this random local, and learning about his life. Sometimes you run into people and it feels like a little piece of destiny, the conversation just clicks and your curiosity arises, whilst the comfort of their company settles. When departing he remarked to maybe seeing each other again in the future. And while I know this is unlikely in a town with 140k people, I will keep an eye out for the goodest boy of Blackpool and his lovely companion.

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Clara Zoellner
Clara Zoellner

Written by Clara Zoellner

3rd culture kid currently exploring the wonders of the UK

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